Does Everyone Know What They're Doing But Me?

The Path of Life.  Yes, I'm in a cheesy mood.
On another note, how cute is my dog?!?

I don’t know about you, but my career path has gone exactly as planned.  

A straight shot down the Road to Success.  No deviations or surprises.  Just perfection.

(Oh gosh that’s funny.  Excuse me a moment as I laugh my little butt off.  Whew.  Ok back to my point).

Hardly.

As a young girl, I had some admirable goals: princess, fashion designer, Ambassador to France, and my personal favorite:  Crayola Crayon Namer. (That’s a thing, right?)

Instead, I've danced a little do-si-do and a loop-de-loo: 

• Subway Sandwich Artist (where I quit after 2 hours)
• Coffee Cart Barista (where I became addicted to Frappuccinos)
• Senate Intern (where I conducted delightful tours of the Capitol)
• Campus Switchboard Operator (where I refused to give a reporter the number of our football team’s kicker after he botched a PAT that resulted in a loss to Nebraska)
• Sales at MTV (where I planned fun parties, and partied a lot)
• Marketing at Proactiv (where I traveled the world)
• VP at a start-up skin care company (where I lost my job after a year)

In other words, an extremely strategic and brilliantly crafted career path [insert more laughter here].  

Not that my tasting menu approach was a bad thing, because many experiences quickly taught me what I didn’t want to do (I’m talking to you, Subway).  

I’ve spent most of my life chasing my definition of success: the right title, loads of money, glory and fame.

And after years of achieving and never being satisfied, it made me wonder:

What the heck am I doing with my life?

After years of wandering, I’ve finally figured it out.  I’ve realized, it isn’t about me.

I believe we’re all here on this earth for a reason.  We’re all born with a unique purpose that God instilled in each of us, and intends for us to use for good. 

Friends who have seen me during some very dark days, have recently told me that there’s something different about me.  The truth is, now that I’ve connected with what I’m meant to do, I can’t help but radiate joy.  

There is beautiful relief in knowing that my life has meaning.  As does my next door neighbor, the screaming baby on my flight, the Whole Foods cashier. 

And you.    

Have you found it? I’d love to hear from you. Please share in the comments. 

If you’re alive, there’s a purpose for your life. - Rick Warren

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. - Matthew 5:16

Oooh! Pretty Shiny Thing!

One huge plus to running: I do it in pretty shoes! 

I had a pretty big epiphany this past weekend.  

I’ve spent a lot of time running.  

I really wish I meant physically running- though if you’ve been reading my blog, you may have picked up that running is an extremely recent thing for me, something I hated so much I put it on a 20 year hold due to an extremely strict high school PE program that forced me to run a 15k (for the Americans, that translates to 9.32 miles) in order to graduate my freshman year (The scars!  Oh the scars!)

I mean, running from my life.

Let me take you on a quick little trip down memory lane: Hawaii to Boston to Denver to Boulder to Washington DC to New York to Santa Monica to Manhattan Beach to New York to Newport Beach.

Just writing that made me dizzy. 

The Magnificent Marketer in me says: Wow, that’s adventurous!  And that’s true.  I’ve led a pretty amazing life, filled with all kinds of fun shark/blizzard/yacht/celebrity stories.  

But the Truth Seeker in me says: You didn’t think that was working, so you left.   Wait a minute, that’s not really working either so let’s leave again.  Uh oh that’s still not working, let’s try this.  Or maybe this… 

The truth is, I’m a World Champion at Distraction. 

I have quite a few tools under my belt.  Some of my favorites: iPhone, food, alcohol, sex.

Over the years, I’ve become really good at using my tools all the time. 

But my approach is changing.  

I’ve finally slowed down.  I’m sitting still.  I’m dealing with it. 

And it kinda sucks.  

I wish I could tell you it didn’t, that I love feeling feelings and dealing with my $h*t.  But the truth is, it’s painfully hard work to deal with past hurt, grief, and loss that I've been a master at hiding.  

I'll tell you though, the rewards far outweigh the pain.  

A huge benefit for me is actually knowing and being me.  (Turns out, I like me.  I think I’m kinda neat).

And most importantly, without all this noise, I’ve discovered a much deeper, richer, fulfilling relationship with my Creator. 

Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.  - C.S. Lewis

I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God.  - Elizabeth Elliot

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18 

I Get One Chance

Just a typical morning at The Cliffs of Corona del Mar

Without fail, whenever a friend visits—especially New Yorkers—I take them to one of my favorite places on earth, 

The Cliffs of Corona del Mar 

(For maximum effect, cue dramatic symphony concerto and a snobby British accent).  Sidenote: that’s not what they’re actually called.  It’s something pretty boring like Little Corona Beach Place and holy geez, it deserves more flair. 

Not only are The Cliffs of Corona del Mar ridiculously beautiful, I can always bank on this reaction: I can’t believe you live here.  

I giddily reply, I know, right?!? Don’t you love it?!  OMG tell me how much you love it!!  while I do my little Happy Dance (this is essentially a dorky butt wiggle that my little sister swears I picked up from my dog).

When I first moved here from New York, my reaction to this place was a little different.  I remember walking by a couple who was smiling and laughing and, well, annoying the crap out of me. 

And then, they did something even more shocking.  When they passed me, they said, in unison: 

Good Morning!

The New Yorker in me recoiled, a bit suspicious, and wondered, What do they want?  But then I realized, Oh. They’re being nice.  Because it’s beautiful and it’s hard to be upset when you’re looking at a view like this, and also that’s just what people do here. 

Now I love New Yorkers and will always love that city.  But I realized that my changed attitude highlights a big difference between my life then and now.  The demanding, driven, CEO-or-bust lifestyle I was living—the very one that every magazine and website and tv show told me was the definition of success—was making me completely miserable.  

My whole life I worked really hard to make tons of money, earn every possible promotion, and sprint up the ladder so I could buy my nice house, nice car, nice bags, vacation in nice places.  And don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.  And I still love a lot of that stuff.  

But it also came at an expense—long hours chained to a desk, stress-filled meetings, toxic bosses, living in airports.  That lifestyle contributed to weight gain, depression, challenging friendships, and the end of my marriage.

I was good at my career.  But I sucked at life.

Changing my focus has changed my life.  Prioritizing God, family, friends, and living a good life I can be proud of, has made me a much happier, peaceful person. 

So now, I have it all figured out.  (Insert boatloads of laughter here).  

Ok, not even a little bit.  

All I know is I get one chance at this life.  And I want to do it right. 

My dream is to live a good life and be loving, be close to God and be a good human being and bring peace to people.  - Ziggy Marley