Oooh! Pretty Shiny Thing!

One huge plus to running: I do it in pretty shoes! 

I had a pretty big epiphany this past weekend.  

I’ve spent a lot of time running.  

I really wish I meant physically running- though if you’ve been reading my blog, you may have picked up that running is an extremely recent thing for me, something I hated so much I put it on a 20 year hold due to an extremely strict high school PE program that forced me to run a 15k (for the Americans, that translates to 9.32 miles) in order to graduate my freshman year (The scars!  Oh the scars!)

I mean, running from my life.

Let me take you on a quick little trip down memory lane: Hawaii to Boston to Denver to Boulder to Washington DC to New York to Santa Monica to Manhattan Beach to New York to Newport Beach.

Just writing that made me dizzy. 

The Magnificent Marketer in me says: Wow, that’s adventurous!  And that’s true.  I’ve led a pretty amazing life, filled with all kinds of fun shark/blizzard/yacht/celebrity stories.  

But the Truth Seeker in me says: You didn’t think that was working, so you left.   Wait a minute, that’s not really working either so let’s leave again.  Uh oh that’s still not working, let’s try this.  Or maybe this… 

The truth is, I’m a World Champion at Distraction. 

I have quite a few tools under my belt.  Some of my favorites: iPhone, food, alcohol, sex.

Over the years, I’ve become really good at using my tools all the time. 

But my approach is changing.  

I’ve finally slowed down.  I’m sitting still.  I’m dealing with it. 

And it kinda sucks.  

I wish I could tell you it didn’t, that I love feeling feelings and dealing with my $h*t.  But the truth is, it’s painfully hard work to deal with past hurt, grief, and loss that I've been a master at hiding.  

I'll tell you though, the rewards far outweigh the pain.  

A huge benefit for me is actually knowing and being me.  (Turns out, I like me.  I think I’m kinda neat).

And most importantly, without all this noise, I’ve discovered a much deeper, richer, fulfilling relationship with my Creator. 

Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.  - C.S. Lewis

I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God.  - Elizabeth Elliot

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18 

What the Heck Was I Thinking?!

Selfie time!  Yay for awesome friends!
(This is clearly the Before picture.  I did not look like this 13 miles later). 

Well that was dumb. 

This is was my first thought when I clicked REGISTER for my first ever Half Marathon.  But then I did something even dumber: I decided to share the wonderful news on Facebook.  And everyone knows, once it’s on Facebook, it’s official.  

So I started training.

I followed my workout schedule.  (But maybe I don’t need to follow it exactly because this is my first one!)

I traveled a lot but worked out diligently in the hotel gyms (But maybe I’m kinda cold and I can just run in place in my room!) 

I stopped drinking (But maybe I had a glass of wine here and there!  And maybe by a glass I mean a bottle!)

I ate healthy and when I craved sweets, ate carrot sticks (But maybe by carrot sticks I mean chocolate chip cookie dough!) 

So my training didn’t work out as perfectly as I had hoped.  And as the race loomed closer, I started getting a teensy bit nervous (by nervous I mean totally freaked out).  I kid-you-not thought it was possible that I might die. 

And then something miraculous happened. 

During one of the last week’s of my training, I had to run 10 miles.  Normally I would run with my gym’s running club.  However, our coach was out of town so I would have to do this on my own.

And I know me.  If left to my own devices, I’d end up walking, or worse, cheating. 

So I asked for help from my friend Becca, a 10-miles-is-my-warm-up kind of runner.  Becca not only ran with me, she smiled, laughed and encouraged me the entire time (all while texting.  Did I mention she has superpowers?)  

You’re doing so great! Look how relaxed you are! You’ve totally got this!

Until I saw 10 MILES logged on my little runner watch, I honestly wasn’t sure I could do it.  Something clicked at the end of that run.  All of a sudden, I realized that no, I would not die, and yes, I’ve got this.  I’ve totally freaking got this. 

I learned two valuable lessons:

1. Surround yourself with awesome people—those that believe in you, especially when you don’t.
2. Believe Believe Believe!  Here’s a shocker: telling myself I was going to die wasn’t helping.  Choosing positive, encouraging thoughts made me realize I could do it.  

Now that I’ve completed one, my runner friends are encouraging me to do more.  (Sidenote: I used to think all runners were crazy but now I kinda get it.  Kinda).  I don’t know if I'll run another one, but I do know this:  

I can do it.

I won't be alone. 

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10