Stressed Beyond Belief

Ahhhh....a gorgeous sunset will always 
turn my day around. 

Something very interesting happened last week (and by interesting, I mean terrifying). 

What happened? This Type-A-I-Can-Do-It-All Wonder Woman decided she could handle 15 gigantic tasks, all at the same time.   They were ALL urgent (we're #1!), required my immediate attention (NOW, lady, NOW!), and nothing could be dropped (hey-I’m no quitter!)

Except I couldn’t handle it all.  

In the middle of the night, I awoke to a raaaaaaacing heart.  Unfortunately, this pounding-heart-is-that-an-earthquake-oh-no-that’s-just-me sensation was terrifyingly familiar because it occurred frequently during my divorce.  In other words, one of the most traumatic times of my life.  

I needed to address my stress, so I quickly implemented Operation Stop Freaking Out:

1. Breathe. 
2. Pray. Hard.
3. Reach out to friends and ask them to pray for me. 
4. Make a list of everything on my mind (this whole Type A thing can come in handy too) 

Scanning the list of All The Ridiculous Things I Committed To made it abundantly clear why I was anxious—I was drowning in an ocean of Yesses. 

And something had to give.  Though I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what.  

In that moment, I realized I had a choice: Continue being Stressed Beyond Belief, or…not.  

Huh.   

When I looked at the situation from this new angle, my choice became simple.

I said no to being overwhelmed, and I said yes to me.

Looking back, I’m happy that I started to unravel. 

Because sometimes, in my quest to do it all, I lose myself.  And since I’m incredibly stubborn, I needed a shocking wake up call to inspire change. 

So today, I’m remembering that it's ok to say no.  

And to breathe.    

*How do you de-stress?  I'd love to hear from you, please share in the comments below.*

If we want things about our lives to change, we have to change the way we use the two most powerful words: yes and no. -Lysa TerKeurst

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.  From the ends of the earth  I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.  I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.  - Psalm 61:1-4

Wanna Hear a Crazy Dating Story?

I was in such deep thought staring at the ceiling of
this Botanical Garden that I almost ran into a field trip
full of little kids.  This has nothing to do with anything.  
I just thought it was cool.

I had such an interesting experience recently that it made me want to share something kinda personal that I don’t normally talk about:

Dating.  

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you probably just spit out your coffee.  It’s true that I share a lot of raw things.  But this topic has been really difficult for me to write about.  Partially because I have a hard time believing some of the downright wacky things that have happened.  Like this little adventure from last week:

I had a fun date with a nice, funny, smart, successful, good-looking guy.  So for our second date, he asked me to join him for dinner.  At his house.  

In his hot tub. 

Because, if you want to get to know someone better, you should do that in a hot tub.  (No judgement if you’re wondering what the heck is the problem here?  I’m just not a hot-tub-on-the-second-date-kinda-girl).

Not knowing him very well, I wasn’t comfortable with this, and instead suggested that we meet at a restaurant.  

And that’s when things took a rather interesting turn. 

Little did I know what I would unleash: Crazy Angry Hot Tub Guy.  

I will spare you the ridiculousness, but in a nutshell: he became enraged.  To put it mildly. 

I’m really grateful this was all captured via text because seriously, I just can’t make this stuff up.  Also because I will be making a movie out of this. 

As hurt as I was by the exchange, this incident highlighted a theme that I’ve been seeing over and over and over lately.   

We’re all broken.  So very, very broken. 

I’ve been working on trying to see people, especially when dating, through a different lens: with love and compassion.  (This is a huge departure, I might add, from my they're-all-a-holes-I'm-joining-a-nunnery mentality). 

While it was really difficult for me to see Hot Tub Guy with love and compassion at the time, I've realized that at the end of the day, we’re all hurting, wounded, walking messes.  Me included. (This may shock you, but I have quite a few issues myself). 

The good news is, we’re all in this together. 

I’m so grateful for a friend who actually read through the entire text exchange in real time, offering advice and sympathy.  For a friend who came over with dinner (!) immediately after work to patiently listen to me share my stupid story. For a friend who checked up on me repeatedly to make sure I was ok. 

Most importantly, I’m grateful to Him for being a God who loves and forgives our brokenness, heals our wounds, and is always there to comfort us. 

Nothing God allows you to go through is pointless. Even in the midst of hurt, He will work good for you: now and in the future. He still has a grand plan for you!  - Lysa TerKeurst

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  - Psalm 147:3