Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Oooh! Pretty Shiny Thing!

One huge plus to running: I do it in pretty shoes! 
I had a pretty big epiphany this past weekend.  

I’ve spent a lot of time running.  

I really wish I meant physically running- though if you’ve been reading my blog, you may have picked up that running is an extremely recent thing for me, something I hated so much I put it on a 20 year hold due to an extremely strict high school PE program that forced me to run a 15k (for the Americans, that translates to 9.32 miles) in order to graduate my freshman year (The scars!  Oh the scars!)

I mean, running from my life.

Let me take you on a quick little trip down memory lane: Hawaii to Boston to Denver to Boulder to Washington DC to New York to Santa Monica to Manhattan Beach to New York to Newport Beach.

Just writing that made me dizzy. 

The Magnificent Marketer in me says: Wow, that’s adventurous!  And that’s true.  I’ve led a pretty amazing life, filled with all kinds of fun shark/blizzard/yacht/celebrity stories.  

But the Truth Seeker in me says: You didn’t think that was working, so you left.   Wait a minute, that’s not really working either so let’s leave again.  Uh oh that’s still not working, let’s try this.  Or maybe this… 

The truth is, I’m a World Champion at Distraction. 

I have quite a few tools under my belt.  Some of my favorites: iPhone, food, alcohol, sex.

Over the years, I’ve become really good at using my tools all the time

But my approach is changing.  

I’ve finally slowed down.  I’m sitting still.  I’m dealing with it. 

And it kinda sucks.  

I wish I could tell you it didn’t, that I love feeling feelings and dealing with my $h*t.  But the truth is, it’s painfully hard work to deal with past hurt, grief, and loss that I've been a master at hiding.  

I'll tell you though, the rewards far outweigh the pain.  

A huge benefit for me is actually knowing and being me.  (Turns out, I like me.  I think I’m kinda neat).

And most importantly, without all this noise, I’ve discovered a much deeper, richer, fulfilling relationship with my Creator. 

Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.  - C.S. Lewis

I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God.  - Elizabeth Elliot

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18 

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE this! One of my favorite posts so far sister :) Thanks for the Godly wisdom, I know how it feels to be a (metaphoric) runner… and my real-life shoes aren't anywhere near as cute as yours!