Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Uncertainty Sucks

There is one thing that's certain:
my nieces are the cutest things ever. 

I’m not a fan of uncertainty.  Never have been.

Even as a kid, if I was told at the last minute to Get in the car, we’re headed to a birthday party!, I’d FREAK OUT.  

Me: But I didn't know about this!  It’s not on my calendar!
Mom: You’re 6.  Calm down.

I’m a planner.  If it were up to me, I’d know exactly what was going to happen every minute of every day for the rest of my life.

Having certainty gives me peace.  I like knowing exactly what’s going to happen next.

Except I don’t always know.  Because life doesn’t work that way.  

The truth is, there will always be uncertainty.  

So, I've come to a challenging conclusion: I might as well find peace.

See, I originally set out to write 10 Things You Can Do To Be At Peace.  I ended up staring at my computer for a long time.  Then I attempted what turned out to be truly horrible writing (Smile! Go hiking! Hold a baby!).

I kept coming back to one thing.   Pray.

(Maybe you're howling, Cop out! and rolling your eyes.  I get it, I was annoyed too.  Hello, you said 10 Things!  Come on, Kekuna, you're better than this!) 

But I couldn’t.  Because that was my best answer.  Prayer.

Let me be clear that my prayers won't be found in any church pew anytime soon.

Because I pray boldly authentic, heart-gushing, crazy-time prayers.

I mean, sometimes they're sweet and cuddly: God, that sunset was freaking GORGEOUS! You are so creative! Thank you for all this beauty! Amen!

But sometimes, my prayers are gut-wrenching hail storms: God this SUCKS and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO and I’m TERRIFIED and and and...I HATE this!  But. I trust you. 


Trust that has brought me peace.   

I used to think anxiety was a normal part of life.  I was wrong.

Thank God for that.

Peace begins with a smile.  - Mother Teresa
We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.  -Dalai Lama
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

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