Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I'm About to Give the Scariest Talk of My Life

Some really mean tree-cutting guys squished a whole patch
 of these beautiful flowers with their mean tree-cutting trucks.
But I found one who's not going down easy.
This little gal's a fighter.
I’ve been asked to give a nutrition presentation to a group of teenagers.  

And I’m slightly terrified.

The funny thing is, I’ve successfully pitched to CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies, I’ve given rather delightful presentations to large groups, I’ve even been on tv for crying out loud.  But this is different. 

Because I was a pretty crappy teenager.  Or, pretty awesome depending on how you look at it.  Picture an eye-rolling, moody, lost young girl who thought she knew everything but deep down was incredibly insecure.  

So here’s my fear: I show up to this room full of insecure, snarky, highly judgmental kids who look me up and down, and think:

You’re a health coach??! 

It’s true that I’m not where I want to be.  With the help of God and an awesome group of friends and family, I’ve made huge improvements that I’m proud of--Food used to be a full-time job for me, but it’s been downgraded to part-time. 

But I still struggle with food addiction.  And giving a nutrition presentation as a health coach seems, well, just a teensy, tiny, ‘lil bit hypocritical. 

I’ve been thinking and praying a lot about this opportunity.  And here’s the crazy thing that was put on my heart: 

I’m ready now.  

And here's the kicker: sharing it now is not only helping me get to where I want to be, it’s creating a space for others to relate and share their struggles with me because they know I get it.  

Just yesterday, a friend who is beautiful, thin, and pretty darn perfect, shared with me that she struggles with food, too.  I was completely floored.  My first thought was, What? Not you too! 

But I know that’s how some people look at me.  And the truth is, the more I talk about it, the more I realize there are A LOT of us out there who have this same issue. 

This thought keeps playing in my mind: There’s beauty in the struggle. 

So often I want to fast-forward, skip the bad parts, and instantly get to the good stuff.  But God is putting these opportunities in front of me for a reason.  When I actually trudge through the mud, that’s when my hard-fought lessons are learned.  That’s when I’m refined, improved, made into the even better version of myself- the version that He wants me to be.

So now, even though I'm pretty nervous, I’m also pumped for this talk.  ‘Cause I’m gonna get real, y’all.  

Yeah, yeah, yeah--I’ll talk about eating your vegetables and exercising more. But I’m starting with sharing my story- my struggle, my beauty. 

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

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